What is it about a person do we truly love?

What is it about a person do we truly love?

Is it the look?

Think back to the first time you saw your significant other. Did you say "WOW" in your mind? If so, how long did it last till you start seeing he/she like anyone else. Off course the one you love is different, but the looks eventually become something more or less an aspect of relativity rather than the soul reason why you love them. If it is then you are in trouble because eventually we all get old and unattractive.

Is it the personality?

Well if it is not the looks, hopefully, then it must be the personality that creates attraction. This notion seems rather intuitive, but is it? So think back to the last time you had a conversation with someone that you felt was truly compatible. How did it turn out? Lets assume that it turned out well and a relationship fostered, how long did it take before the conversation that used to last hours now only last minutes. How long did it take before it starts becoming casual rather than those soul-searching talks. Eventually, you start feeling like it is no different than any other ordinary conversation you may of had with other people. And soon you will start to realize personality does change.

The bottom line is, it only seem so perfect the first time because you made it that way. You created an environment where you had hope that this person will be the one. Maybe you were sad, and they said everything that you wanted to hear because you were feeling bad and it was you who declare it to be perfect by your own definition.

Either way, it seems like trial and error. You can't love someone for a single reason. Love, rather, is a compilation of all the different characters that makes up you and I. Since the variation is so huge, we are able to create very unique ones that only the parties involved can appreciate. A relationship will only work if there is compromise, trust, forgiveness, unselfishness, openness, willing to accept, willing to adapt, goal oriented and driven to pursue a lifetime of happiness together. Without the whole package, individual reasons like looks and personality alone will eventually die out. Besides, can we say that we like everything about our significant other? No body does, but love will drive us to make it work because if one component falters, the others will make up for it.

So what is it about a person do we truly love? The answer is nothing. We do not love them for merely being them. We love them because they have giving the things (compromise, trust, forgiveness, unselfishness, openness, willing to accept, willing to adapt, goal oriented and driven to pursue a lifetime of happiness together) we needed to make us complete. To make us happy. We love the interaction, memories, engagement. We invested and it is the product of the relationship, whether children or good time, that is what we truly love.

This is the reason why relationships go sour. When one party decides to stop giving, it is then that the relationship comes to an end. It is not because one person stops being beautiful or that their personality has changed so much that we can't stand them. It is simply that they have stop giving and the process manifest itself as a personality change.

Procrastination a problem?

It is a big task to maintain a daily schedule without having to accommodate for unexpected changes that may arise throughout the day. In fact, life is so dynamic that it takes constant adaptation to stay ahead. Knowing how to manage this hard task is half the battle but it requires a daily practice along with a lifelong learning experience. One way to manage these unexpected changes is to avoid procrastination. According to FOX.News.com, 26 % of Americans believe they are chronic procrastinators as compare to about 5% back in 1978. This is a serious increase in the number of people experiencing this negative behavior.

             This negative behavior is a lack of judgment in prioritizing daily activities and it sinks people deeper and deeper into this mess of procrastination. In the end, people feel like they are merely chasing their own tail in order to finish things that should have been done when expected. Consequently, it is a constant struggle to toggle between school, family, friends, along with other situations throughout the day. As expected, the problem eventually will affect personal relationship, school performance, work, and most importantly, self-satisfaction. People who are procrastinators do not feel the motivation that they had once felt. Their performance is typically reflective of how confident they feel about themselves. Without this confidence, there will be a lack of stimulation to pursue; to produce quality work; to deliver meaningful conversations, and to be engaged in activities that were once enjoyable. The consequences of being a procrastinator are not so obvious at first. For some people it is not even a problem unless the individual is willing to confront the issue and come to some sort of a healthy resolution.

            So how does one engage in this process successfully? Changing from being a procrastinator to being the world’s most efficient person isn’t an overnight thing. Swanson and Holton’s literature on the depth of change (incremental or transformational) states that “incremental change deals with smaller, more adaptive changes while transformational change requires major shifts in direction or perspective.” The problem with changing procrastination is more complex because it has many components. There is the physical nature of change, the mental aspects of change, and also the perspective of the change to an individual. Therefore, when changing procrastination, one must understand and foresee it as being both an incremental change and transformational change in the work over the long run. It is an incremental change in the since that behavioral changes requires time and must be changed little by little. Changing procrastination is a matter of will power and it has momentum influences from the mindset, therefore, in the long run transformation changes will come into play.

            So, the first step is to realize how important the change is. To do this, one must see the true problem of procrastination and how it has affected their life. Sometimes it also helps to see it from another perspective other than your own. When analyzing the problem, it is crucial to theorize the alternate; the consequences of procrastination and how it affected your life as well as the possibility of what might have been different if it had not been put off.  

            By this time it should be clear to you that procrastination is a mental validation of one’s behavior. The understanding is that the current behaviors are interfering with daily life. Therefore, preparing to turn your behavior 180 degrees will require some letting go. This idea of letting go is complicated and will face strong opposition at first; therefore this part of the change process requires strong mental willingness to do so. At least the first part is already taken care of; the acceptance of the issue. Because the bottom line is why fix something if nothing is broken in the first place.

Once the metal preparation is complete, the rest is all about willingness and metal endurance. The mind is quick to quit and slow to adapt. If the task of avoiding procrastination become a burden rather than a positive change, then reflection is necessary. Take some time out to reflect on the issue and see the positive outcomes that will come along with the change. The reflection should serve as a reassurance for this change. It is a reference that can be revisited at anytime the task seems overwhelming. It is a reminder of the reasons and purpose for this turn around.